


This Is Who I Am

by JamesAeza



Series: Prinxiety fics that just kinda happen sometimes [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety, Boys Kissing, Celebrities, Concerts, Everyone Is Gay, Fame, Flying, Friendship, Gen, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Music, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Schizophrenia Mentions, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesAeza/pseuds/JamesAeza
Summary: “I’ve always really liked alternative rock. You wanna listen? This song is ‘Acceptance’ by Anxiety.”Virgil almost broke out laughing. “Sure,” he accepted the airpod, pushing it into his ear only to hear his own voice. He remembered recording this one.Famous singer Virgil, or 'Anxiety' meets a cute boy, but isn't sure he wants to divulge his career. Mostly just cute tropey Prinxiety because I can.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Prinxiety fics that just kinda happen sometimes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880233
Comments: 18
Kudos: 182





	This Is Who I Am

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fun one to write. I hope you all enjoy the sweet Prinxiety. Happy bday to the boy. 
> 
> Additionally, all song lyrics were written by me. I am a fiction writer, not a songwriter. I'm sure it is clear why. Please do not make fun of me for my bad songwriting. Roald Dahl was bad at it too. :(

Virgil took a deep breath in. He hated flying, but sometimes it had to be done. Going on tour was still sort of a novel idea to him, his fame being relatively new. He was recognized in public often, but not every time he went out. He always hoped he wouldn’t be. After all, his demeanor was so different in real life, lacking confidence and poise. 

He tugged at the hoodie that he’d never let be associated with his singer persona, Anxiety. Sometimes he felt like the celebrity and Virgil had never even met. 

As he boarded the craft, he managed to find his seat. He was right next to a boy who was already seated, dressed in a cropped red hoodie with a gold crown on it, with airpods in his ears. He had neatly trimmed brown hair, which made Virgil touch his own bangs, almost as if to make sure they were still there. 

Pushing his nerves aside, he lowered himself into the seat, drawing the attention of the other boy, who pulled the airpod out of his ear. He grinned a little.  _ His grin is adorable.  _ Stop it, Virgil, he told himself, you can’t fall for every cute guy you meet. 

“Nervous?”

Virgil broke out of his thoughts. “A little,” he admitted. “You?”

He shrugged. “Not really. I’ve always rather liked flying.”

“Lucky you then. What sort of music you got there?”

“I’ve always really liked alternative rock. You wanna listen? This song is ‘Acceptance’ by Anxiety.”

Virgil almost broke out laughing. “Sure,” he accepted the airpod, pushing it into his ear only to hear his own voice. He remembered recording this one.

They listened in silence for a minute before Virgil asked, “How old are you?”

“Sixteen. You?

“Same.” After another minute of listening, he decided to offer a tidbit about himself. “You know he writes all his own lyrics?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It’s so cool. They’re really great. Relatable, yknow?”

“Sure. What’s your favorite line of his?”

“Probably when he said, ‘you told me I was worthless, didn’t reverse it, until the real test came and it then almost came too late’.” He sang the words quietly. Virgil smiled.

“That’s a good one. So you seeing him live? He is performing in Austin tomorrow night, and that seems to be where we’re both headed.”

Roman shook his head, grin faltering for a moment. “Nope. My uncle and his boyfriend want to take me, though. They think it’ll... help.” He shook his head, plastering his smile back on his face. “Are you going?”

“Yeah, I am. If you don’t mind my asking, what do they want to help with?”

He sighed, grin slipping from his face entirely. “I guess I might as well spill. You’re just the stranger on the plane, right?” He let out a shaky laugh. “My brother’s got schizophrenia. He slipped into psychosis, saw and thought all sorts of really scary things, and I have to go stay with Uncle Patton and his boyfriend Logan until he’s okay again.”

“Wow. I’m sorry.” A beat. “What’s his name?”

“Remus. And thanks. You seem like a cool guy, Virge.”

“A REMINDER THAT THE PLANE WILL BE READY FOR TAKEOFF SHORTLY. PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.”

Virgil flinched at the sudden noise before blushing a little and shoving his seat belt into place.

The conversation seemed to be mutually paused as the plane took off. Virgil screwed his eyes shut and played with his hoodie strings, taking deep breaths, until the movement evened out. Then he looked over at Roman, who was looking out the window. He turned around upon noticing Virgil looking at him. “You good?”

“Yep. Well, as ‘good’ as I can be a couple hundred feet off the ground.”

“Acrophobia, huh?”

“Yep. She’s a real bitch.”

“Sure is.” He paused a moment. “Alright, so I spilled my guts to you. What’s your backstory?”

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“ Let’s start with an easy one. Why are you on this plane, right now, by yourself?”

Oh god. Now to dance around the truth without outright lying. Lies of omission did not count. “Well, I’m going to Texas for Anxiety’s concert. I’m gonna meet some people there.”

This was true. His tour coordinator, the band, the crew, and the opening artist were all arriving separately. 

“Alright. Here’s another question. You got any siblings?”

“I wish. Nope, it’s just me.” 

Roman grinned. “Yeah. Remus is my identical twin, so sometimes I love him more than life itself, and other times I want to smack him over the head with a mace.”

“That’s… oddly specific.”

He shrugged. “Well, I’ve pictured it more than once.”

Virgil laughed out loud at that. 

Roman smiled. “So what else is in your past, mysterious stranger?”

“Well, I have diagnosed anxiety and paranoia. I’m taking meds for it so I don’t completely lose it. Oh! You wanna know the real secrets of my past?”

“I wanna hear it all.” Virgil was surprised at how sincere Roman sounded. This was sort of nice, sharing secrets and fears with the strange attractive boy on the plane. They’d most likely never interact again, after all. 

“I had a suicide attempt a few years back. It was weird, everyone who used to be so awful to me was suddenly so ready to tell me they cared and I mattered. But it shouldn’t have taken that long, yknow?”

Roman nodded. “That sucks, but it’s not surprising. No one cares until lives are on the line.” Virgil nodded. 

“That’s the truth.”

Roman looked at him. “You know, you really remind me of someone, but I can’t place who it is. Maybe some actor?”

He shrugged. “I guess I’m just that devilishly handsome,” he observed.

Roman chuckled. “Right.”

Virgil grinned mischievously. “My good sir, are you denying my clear charm and grace?”

Roman placed a hand over his heart, already into the goofy scene. “I would surely deny you nothing.”

Wait. Were they flirting? Virgil was never sure. Odds were this boy wasn’t even gay. (Virgil you moron, he’s wearing a crop top.) Whatever this was, though, he liked it. 

…

That night in his hotel room, Virgil found he couldn’t stop thinking about Roman. He and the boy who was opening for him were sitting together, eating chips and drinking sodas. His name was Janus, stage name Deceit, which even Virgil had to admit was cooler than Anxiety. He’d considered the name Paranoia, but it didn’t feel as right for him. 

“He was just so effortlessly  _ cool. _ ”

Janus laughed. “Looks like you fell hard, Annie.” Janus had decided awhile ago that shortening Anxiety to Annie was a good idea. In response, he called him DeeDee. “Please tell me you got his number.” 

“Sure did. Now here’s the real question- Should I tell him I’m Anxiety?”

Janus shrugged. “Depends. Are you planning on seeing him again? How far do you want to take things? Does he like your music?”

“I just don’t knoowww. Well, he does like my song ‘Acceptance’.”

“Well that’s a start. I-”

Suddenly Virgil screamed before clapping his hand over his mouth, remembering that he was in a hotel.

“Jesus, Ann, what’d you do that for?”

“He just texted me.”

“Well that’s good. What’d you scream for, though?”

Virgil just turned the phone around, letting Janus read the text.

_ My uncles convinced me, I’ll be at the concert. Maybe we could meet up? _

“Well then I guess you’d better tell him.”

_ You’ll definitely see me there, though I won’t be there for the opening artist. Btw, what’s your last name? _

_ Cool. And it’s Prinz. Why? _

_ You’ll see. _

“What are you being all cryptic for?”

Virgil stuck his tongue out. “You’ll see.” 

“For a teenage star, you are shockingly immature.”

…

The next night came very soon. 

Virgil was sitting backstage with Janus, who was helping him with his eyeliner. Virgil was wearing the black denim vest, open in the front with nothing underneath, and black ripped jeans. Janus opted for a black muscle tee with yellow on the edges and intact skinny jeans. 

“Stop fidgeting or it’s going to be all shaky.”

Virgil sighed, trying to stay still for long enough for Janus to finish and put the pen away. 

“What time is it?” Virgil asked.

“Umm, nine fifty.”

“Okay. That means you’re on in-”

“Ten minutes. I’m ready.”

“All right then. Do you want help finishing your makeup?”

“Sure.”

‘Deceit’ had a signature look of makeup covering half his face, in almost a scale-like pattern. Virgil had mastered the art a long time ago. 

Virgil carefully added the last bits to his look, finishing with the glitter. “All right. You ready?”

“Sure am.”

“Good luck out there, DeeDee.”

“Thanks Annie.”

…

Roman still felt a little strange going to a concert while his brother was beginning treatment for horrible intrusive thoughts, delusions, and hallucinations. He didn’t want Remus to be on his own. But Uncle Patton had managed to convince him. 

It had also helped that he knew Virgil would be there. He and the boy on the plane had spilled to each other, and Roman felt like there was a real connection. Plus that Virgil was genuinely stunning. 

As they entered the venue, Roman immediately scanned for Virgil before remembering that he said he’d be a bit late. That was fine. He’d said he’d see him later, and besides, his uncle and Logan were pretty cool guys. 

The first performer was good. Roman made a quick mental reminder to find some music by ‘Deceit’ in the future. 

By ten fifteen, Anxiety was about to come out. Roman had to admit that he was excited. This music had helped him through the hard times with the whole family, when Remus screamed and cried and told them to watch out for the huge venomous spiders that Roman couldn’t see. 

As he watched the stage, the teenage performer slowly stepped out, hands in the air, eyes shrouded in black, hair spiked up. He looked confident, and ready for anything, and  _ holy shit that was Virgil. _

The boy he’d met on the plane  _ was _ Anxiety. He looked so different now, as if there was an entirely different consciousness inside that perfect little body.  _ Whoa, slow down Roman. Having those thoughts about the guy on the plane is one thing, but he’s clearly way out of your league. _

He started singing shortly after, which snapped Roman out of his head. 

_ Can you promise? _

_ Can you whisper in my ear? _

_ All the pretty lies that I’m begging you to hear? _

_ Can you tell me?  _

_ Tell me that I’ll be enough? _

_ Promise that I’ll never need their useless messy love? _

_ Shower me with everything you know I want to hear _

_ Either that or kill me gently  _

_ Knowing that I’ll never feel _

_ Real love _

The words suddenly seemed much more raw in person. And now that he knew the living, breathing human behind them. 

“Is something the matter, Roman?” Logan asked him. He just pointed.

“That. That’s Virgil. The boy from the plane.”

“ _ Oh _ .”

After Virgil finished the song, he grabbed the microphone, lifting it off its stand. 

“You know, this song, it suddenly means something really different to me.” He paused for dramatic effect, a move Roman was quite familiar with. “I met someone. Yesterday.”

The audience screamed. 

“And he’s right here today! Do y’all wanna meet him?’

Amid the screams and cheers, Roman looked over at Patton and Logan, unsure. 

“I _said-_ _do you wanna meet him_?”

The room got even louder. 

“Okay, Roman Prinz, get up here.”

The roar of the crowd seemed to dull in Roman’s ears as he found his way through the people and up to the stage. He was very, very anxious. Fitting. 

“Alright, get over here.” Virgil grabbed his arm, pulling him closer. Roman was frozen, then the background music started, and Virgil started  _ touching _ him.  _ Seductively. _

_ There might be someone right behind me or _

_ Hiding in my shed _

_ And there might be a villain hiding right under my bed _

_ Every silent little sound, _

_ Every minor little twitch _

_ Finds its way into my brain  _

_ And God, is she a bitch, _

_ Oh! _

Roman smiled upon realizing Virgil had used his own line to describe his acrophobia the day before. 

Roman just stood there, mesmerized, watching Virgil in his singer persona. He was beautiful either way.

Upon finishing the final line of the song, Virgil grabbed his shoulders, pulled him in, and before Roman knew anything, Virgil was kissing him exactly the way you’d expect a rock star to kiss a cute boy in the middle of his concert. Rough. Needy. Roman could hear the fans screaming in the background, but it was dull. Virgil was the only thing his senses had room for right now. 

When Virgil pulled away again, his face was bright red and hot, not just from the stage lights and body heat of the crowd. 

“Was that okay?”

“More than okay,” Roman whispered, pulling him back in, this time with himself in control. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make me very happy if anyone's willing, I take constructive criticism and you have the right to destroy me if you see a grammar mistake. There is no excuse for bad grammar.


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